It was almost directly after the 8-day Radical Honesty intensive in Italy. I was not so sure if it is good to continue travelling so soon after my arrival back from Italy. After all I can say it was the best thing I could do.
Starting my journey
On the 4th of May I started my journey first with the train to Aachen. From there I wanted to hitchhike to Utrecht to visit my good friend Vincent. It was kind of difficult to come to the highway entry by walking. Because normally there was no access by walking. I went down next to a bridge and walked on the grass next to another street for 100 meters. I stood there for half an hour until a woman took me almost directly to Utrecht. A second car took me in the city centre. I talked to Vincent in whatsapp and we met in the Wilhelminapark, a beautiful park close to his parents house (where we stayed the whole time as they were in holiday).
This was the only time during my stay when I walked more than half an hour through the city (the most of the time we were by bike). It Is a really beautiful city and I enjoyed to walk there and ask nice Dutch people for my way.
When I met Vincent
In the evening Vincent and I had cozy picknick in the park before we drove to Rika Hopperlaan where the house of his parents is.
The next morning we prepared some breakfast and took it to this awsome slow coffee place. I love it . It has just space for max. maybe 10 people if the weather is good and they can also sit outside. And it is sooo relaxed. I loved it. We were just sitting there. Drinking delicious slow coffee, Eating our breakfast, talking with people, playing chess and just enjoying doing nothing.
I think we were sitting there for around 4-5 hours. At some point, I was just breathing deeply, breathing out making sound and felt a tingling in my head. It was just beautiful.
After having a delicious dinner on the balcony, we went to a fullmoon circle of rainbow brothers and sisters. Again I felt a tingling when we were singing and making noises. This time in my whole body. We were singing and talking until long in the night around the fire.
On Saturday morning we signed up to a breathwork session with Joost. He did an amazing job and he is still quite young.
Spontaniously we decided to spend the afternoon in the beautiful nature of Reinaue. We went swimming and enjoyed the beauty of nature.
Extatic Dance x 3
Sunday morning we did Extatic Dance with many locals in a park in the middle of Utrecht. Vincent has 20 silent disco headphones that we used, so everybody was hearing the music trough headphones. Extatic Dance is a dance without rules or steps. You are just invited to move however your body wants to move. Or do not move at all. What ever you want.
After dancing we went to the slow coffee place again. I felt that I can be myself there, just being. Thank you Jonathan. And on this occation I tried a vegan cake meditation inspired by Gabriela I met on the 8 day intensive in Italy. In this meditation you watch the cake, smell it, take little bites with full awareness, feel the sensations in your body and be in the here and now.
Sunday evening and Monday morning, Vincent was busy with private thing.
Monday evening we continued with Extatic dance. This time Vincent was the instructor and it was the first session he gave. It was great
Really dancing extatic
Tuesday morning it continued and we did his next Extatic dance session. Now it was really extatic, because it was a dancing in the rain and there were only the three of us. Vincent, Jolene and me.
She just came back from a Tantra Temple weekend and it was her wish to spend time in nature. So it was perfect. We took some of our clothes off and painted our body each other with mud.
If I had known, that the mud would be so easy to remove when we took a bath in the river after, I would have put more in my face 😉
I really like Jolenes femineity. It felt so open and welcoming. I felt that I just can be myself and talk with her honest about everything whats going on in my head. And this without introducing her into radical honesty before. Actually we talked about it before. I imagine, when I talk with someone about the 8 day intensive radical honesty workshop, this is almost like I say: “Let´s be more honest with each other.
Back home
The next morning hitchhiked back from Utrecht to Germany. Other than on the way to Utrecht where almost all the way was one car, I was taken by several different cars. And I was very lucky it did not rain.
I will be very happy if you share your opinion on this article or your own experience in the comments!
And of course it is very interesting if you share what touched you, what resonates in you or what is alive in you while you read this lines.
After a long travel I arrived at Pettenasco train station. My phone was not working and so I was lucky that a french guy who attended the radical honesty retreat was also there an called the facilitators, so that we got picked up.
At the “house Felicina” were already a bunch of people waiting. Because I felt tired after the long journey, I took a shower and a rest first.
The start of the workshop
Around 5pm on April 22nd 2023 the radical honesty 8 day intensive started. Marvin and J. were assisted by Gabriela. To begin smoothly we started with 2 name rounds.
The first partner exercise I did with a tall guy with curly hairs. It was about sharing the expectations for this workshop. The only thing I remember is, that it turned out in a big yawning session.
The first day we didn´t have a evening program. On the following evenings we shared our live stories. Only I did mine in the morning because I picked the last evening of the workshop and I wanted people to know my life beforehand.
The structure of the most days looked mainly like this:
In the morning we did movement exercises, pleasure yoga and meditations followed by the breakfast. After that we started with a sharing circle and debriefed the life stories from the evening before. To round up the morning we did a little bit of exercises, mostly in pairs.
Then we went up to the Centro d´Ompio for lunch and watched male peacocks to display themselves infront of the females and show us their beautiful feathering.
After lunch we had some time for ourselves. We were free to decide how we want to spend it. Eighter alone or with someone else or just sleeping.
Nearby was the beautiful lake Orta and also two waterfalls. I visited all 3 during our stay. The combination of a workshop and a nice holiday location was really nice.
The radical honesty workshop restarted at 4:30 pm. The start was different from day to day. Some days we danced to a song and one person did some dance move and all other people followed. The person demonstrating the move changed after around 15-30 seconds. This “game” was in one way really cool. But on the other hand I felt hesitancy because some part of my mind said that the dance move that I demonstrate must be somehow cool and good.
Theory took turn with partner exercises or sharings after that. The theory was beautifully put into graphics by Gabriela.
Some of the exercises and theory I really liked, some I did not. Really good was the awareness continuum.Especially I liked the drawing with the flashlight (see above in the center) that made it very clear. Also I liked the triade in the morning. Three people came together and shared about everything what is in their mind and body right now or which important things came up. The verbal taboos (above on the right) made me aware much more of the wording that I use. Especially the word “but” I used far too often.
What I did not like were the sharing about money. Especially the term “what is your net worth” is crazy in my eyes. How can some diry paper with numbers on it ever describe your worth? The exercise was to share what you earn, the amount of savings and investments etc. and also the worth of physical things, like cars, houses etc. Some people also expect an inheritance. And all togehter is “your net worth”.
I can not say it it is true, but I sensed some bullshit in this exercise. People said: money is not important for them but on the same time the desire money for security.
Other exercises were quite interesting as well, like the “Sometimes I pretend…., while in reality I am….”. Or the “I notice” (something visible with the eyes) and “I imagine” (something brought up by your mind) exercise. Also we did the “should” and “no” exercise where one partner always came up with somehing he or she should do and the other one always responded with “NO”. We made this also with external people, like he or she should (parents, partner, friends).
For dinner we went again up to the Centro, we were able to catch the last sunlight on the terrace while we ate.
Life Storys
The life story part of the radical honesty retreat after dinner was very interesting. It was very emotional and a little bit like cinema to hear from everyone the experiences that he or she made. In the end of the lifestory the storyteller got asked what was the best and what was the worst time in his or her life. My mind was busy while I was listening to the life stories. It always said that I have to show emotions in front when it is my turn. Also my mind was comparing the stories from the others with my own stories.
The days of the radical honesty 8 day intensive were all quite emotional. The concept that it is necessary to express the emotions only verbally and not with actions was new for me. But it made sense somehow. I felt much more emotions when I was not allowed to escape them with actions like in other workshops. To handle the upcoming emotions I took times for me alone. During food or also in the lunchbreak.
Naked work
A very special part of the radical honesty workshop was the naked work. At the 4th day of the workshop after lunch it was naked time. After the explanation how it will work, all participants and also the trainers took their clothes of at the same time. One by one we stood infront of the group and answered questions. Before the participants started, the trainers went infront of everybody and talked about their body and their sexual life. So no participant had to go first what made it more relaxed.
Still it was quite a challenge to stand naked infront of the group. Sitting naked with everybody also naked was not that tough for me. But as soon I was standing there infront of everybody with no clothes that felt unprotected. Clothes are not really an armor. But they prevent others from seeing your body, what most people think of is who they really are, as it really is.
The questions we had to answer were: What do you like about your body and what do you not like? When did you first find out that you are a sexual being? When did you first have sex? How many sexual partners did you have? And then at last if you want to tell something else.
In the evening we did a “No talent – talent show” where everyone had the chance to perform something, even he or she is not very good at it or doesn´t even have talent.
The night after turned out in a no pants allowed dancing party. The underwear was still allowed, it was no orgy.
My own experience of the radical honesty 8 day intensive retreat
For me personally the most special day was the day of my life story. I was triggered by some people in the morning sharing circle and I started crying. Even though it is a genral believe that crying is a sad thing, for me it was more a relief. My mind was always pushing that I have to show emotions to be taken seriously. This was mostly because of something that happened to me before in the sharing circle. Someone cried and the coaches said “take your time” I said something and did not cry. I can not exactly remember what the trainers said. For me it sounded like “hurry up, what is your point”.
It felt really wonderful to just cry. My thinking mind was cut of. I just felt my body. And I felt a lot. There was a tingling very strong in my head and in my hands, but also in the rest of my body. I could not even walk, somebody had to support me on the way to the toilet. I cried for around an hour. The other were continuing with the the debriefing of the life storys from the day before.
And then it was my time for my lifestory. In the morning I was very nervous. I could not sleep the night before. My mind was always busy with thoughts, comparisons and pressure to be good. But in the moment when I started my life story I just didn´t care. I also said the I think I don´t have to show emotions in the life story, I did enough already.
The Rainbow gathering is the most beautiful thing on this planet according to my experiences so far in this lifetime. I get emotional when I think of it. It is home. It is family. Everyone there is called brother or sister. It ispired me also for my tshirts in the category Rainbow love.
Here you can learn more about the rainbow gathering and how it works.
On the way to the rainbow
It started all when a friend from Netherlands called me in July 2021 and asked me if he can visit me. I said no sorry, I will have an appointment on this certain date. He said ok, and some other thing, I will go to a rainbow gathering in two weeks. Without thinking even a second, I said: Ok, I will come.
I heared about rainbow gatherings before. It sounded always so special that I was thinking, this is only for special people, not for me. The exact location is secret until it starts. And it is mostly far up from civilisation somewher in the nature. And what happens there is almost to good to be true. Everyone is welcome, doesnt matter which age, color or religion. That is why it is called rainbow. People there are very different and there is no discrimination. Doctors, Architects, beggars, disabled people (I saw one, but it is not easy for them to reach there), rich people, poor people, old people or babies.
My rainbow experience
But now more about my experience. I had no backpack, no tent for camping, no equipment, nothing. The only thing I had was a very big tent and also a big sleeping bag. I was thinking if I should go with a big suitcase and bring the tent extra. For this few days of the gathering it is maybe an option. Then it came to my mind, no, this is ridiculous. So I started my computer and bought everything that I need for camping in nature in the internet. First I had to find out what I all need for camping of course.
It was last minute. The things arrived just a few days before we started. I never actually camped in nature. I slept in a tent 2 times before in our garden. As I have sleeping problems, I can’t even sleep good in a tent. But when the call of the rainbow came to me, there was no question asked.
My journey to the rainbow gathering
I booked a flixbus from Karlsruhe to Carcasonne in south France. My friend was already there, he was travelling in France. My bus was overnight and we met there early in the morning. After meeting in his AirBnB, we started hichhiking towards the pyrenees. We bought some bread, oil and fruits in Carcasonne, this was our breakfast. It was still a few hundred kilometers to go. I was thinking that hopefully we arrive there before it gets dark. Also we found out that it can be quite cold as far we got higher up, as we saw a flea market on the way, we bought two pullovers.
We jumped and danced on the street. We were like on drugs because we were on the way to the rainbow gathering. The hichhiking went pretty fast. Until we reached the pyrenees we were never waiting long to get picked up. The first stop where we had to wait longer was already in a mountain village up in the pyrenees. Almost no cars crossed there and if there were cars, they did not stop for us.
But we were lucky. After a while a car stoped. And guess what they told us where they will go. To the rainbow gathering 🙂
Coming home to the rainbow
It was like crazy. I was nervous how it will be there and my adrenaline level was very high. And every story they told us in the car about the rainbow gathering pushed it higher. Wow, I have a big smile on my face now when I think of this situation. It took maybe half an hour more on small roads up the pyrenees to the last mountain village. From there we took a road into the forest and drove on this rough road for 30 minutes more. Then finally we arrived. I did not believe my eyes when I saw 100’s of cars parked along the road. It was like crazy. We had difficulties to find a spot for our car, because everywher was full of cars.
We found a spot and started to hike. This was not the end. We had to hike 30 minutes up the mountain to reach to the gathering. Actually the gathering was everywhere. Next to the street were also parked campers where people gathered and had some food and drinks. On the beginning of the very rough road up the mountain was the welcome center. Every rainbow gathering has a welcome center. It is to welcome all new people and tell them about how the gathering works in case they don’t know. The welcome center was in a little house for hikers to sleep over when they hike in the pyrenees. Close to the welcome center was a rainbow flag with the words “rainbow pais”. What means rainbow country in spanish.
Rough road
After hugging many people who welcomed us warm with the words “welcome home”, we continued our way up the hill. A small car tried to drive up the very rough road, I have no idea why, but it came only around 100 meters. Then many people on the way had to come to push this car back down. The road was really rough. Only one 4 wheel drive Pickup made it up everyday to bring food. Even when the police tried to come up with a 4 wheel drive later in the event, they did not make it. I have actually no idea what they wanted with a car on the rainbow gathering.
We hiked and hiked. Some people who left the gathering already came down the way. A rainbow gathering is absolutely free. Normally it takes one month, but everyone can come and leave whenever they want. Many people hugged us and welcomed us home. It did not feel to arrive on a gathering but to come back home.
This is the road to another rainbow gathering, not in pyrenees
The main meadow of the rainbow gathering and the holy fire
After a long hike the dark forest got brighter and we reached to the main meadow of the rainbow gathering. There was also the holy fire. It was almost not real. There were 100’s of people. Dancing, singing, playing, cooking, drinking, talking… Everybody did what he or she wanted. Naked, with clothes or with a costume. Nobody cared about the outer appearance. And we arrived there before food what does not mean on lunchtime. Every rainbow gathering has a temporary kitchen. And food is ready whenever its ready, just on rainbow time. It can be 5 pm (even nobody had a watch) or it can be after midnight (what also happened once)
Home, sweet home. This is how the main meadow in the pyrenees looked like
This is how it looked like. In the middle of the picture behind the circle, you can see where the rough road goes into the forest. There is also a white and brown tent, which was the medecine tent. Everyone could go there with any disease or wound. People with medicine background were there to help.
In the center of the image is the food circle. Evertime when the kitchen made some food with the help of many volunteers, we gathered. In a rainbow gathering it is like that: around 2-3 hours before the food is ready, the kitchen people are shouting loud: “food circle”. This is repeated by every person that hears it. So that everyone on that big area knows it. 1-2 hours before food is another call “food circle”. Half an hour before the food is ready comes the call: “food circle now”. If you are hungry, you know, soon you have to start to move to the main fire.
Settle down on the rainbow gathering
My friend and I went into the forest to search for a nice spot for our tent. We found one next to some people from Lithuania. It was like like a village inside the forest. Everywhere tents, little fire places, hammocks, paths and other things. Outside the forest was also a kids area with a seperate kids kitchen. And there were many beautiful hearted people.
The kids area – in the middle of the image next to the picture you see a big net fixed on trees where kids could climbj
Shit pit
Another big topic in the middle of nature up in the pyrenees is where so many people can shit and pee. Toilets on the rainbow gathering are called shit pits. This are several long holes in the ground. They are on several places far from the tents and also far from the main area. Signs on the trees show the way. You put one foot left and one foot right, put your naked ass down and just let go. When a shitpit is full, some volunteers go and dig a new one. Normally you should not use toilet paper. I tried it with leaves several times. But to use toilet paper and burn it after usage is also ok.
Thank you for the shit pit, it’s healing, it’s healing, it’s healing us
Where I belong
In the rainbow gathering I had the first time the feeling that I really belong. That this is how the world could be. Just sisters and brothers, one big family (the rainbow people call themselves “rainbow family”). This gathering is grounded on anarchy, everyone is responsible for everything, but also everyone can enjoy everything. There is no leader. The rainbow family of a certain county where it takes place is responsible to organize that it can take place. But never one person makes a decision. Everything will be decided in consent.
I realized that very clearly on my first evening at the rainbow gathering. During food circle many differerent activities are called out. Amongst other things they called out that the vision council will meet in one of the tipis. The oldes members of the family came together to decide where the next big European Gathering will happen. And everyone was able to join this vision circle. I love this fact as I am very curious.
So I joined the vision circle. People from different countries argued why the next European rainbow gathering should be in their country. The olders told their opinion. We sat in a circle and everyone had the chance to speak. Me too. But I kept quiet because I have no opinion about the location of the next European rainbow gathering. I was happy that I had just arrived at this one here in the pyrenees.
Rules
Actually the rainbow gathering has no fixed rules. There are guidlines that should be followed. And as everyone is responsible, people will speak to you if they see that you don’t follow the guidlines. But you will not get a penalty for doing something not the rainbow way. Only for one thing. Using physical or psychological violence against other people. Then you will be asked to leave the gathering.
Very important is the mandate to not use your mobile phone in public. If you do so, there will be definetly a brother or a sister confronting you. Alcohol and drugs are also a thing that is not wanted. I did not use them. But I heard that some people do so in private.
We are circling
One of the things that I like most about the rainbow gathering is the rite that before eating we make a circle around the main fire. We hold hands and sing rainbow songs for around 30 minutes -1 hour. Rainbow songs are beautiful. And they are like mantras. That everyone can keep the text in mind, it is often repeating.
And in this circle kisses or other things go around. Means that someone starts to kiss his neigbour on the cheek or on the hand and he or she continues the kiss to the next one and so on. Sometimes people are creative and start something else than kissing. I experienced one time that one person picked up a little branch with her toes. She continued it to her neigbour. He took the branch with his toes and continued it. In this way the little branch went all around the circle.
Sometimes if the space is too small and there are too many people, there will be a second circle. Or even 3 like on this picture. This picture is not from the pyrenees, I just want to show you how it looks if there are too many people for one circle.
Workshops
What I also like very much are the workshops. Everone is able to offer a workshop about everything. And it can happen that many people want to join the workshop of nobody is interested. Here I list some of the workshops I remember: Hypnosis, Massage, Contact Improvisation, Voice Training, Polyamory, Eye Gazing, Play Fight, Chakra Healing, Yoga… Usually during the food circle people will announce their workshops. It is also absolutely free how people announce their workshop. Most common is that people write it on a carton board and show it to everyone or go around and announce it verbaly. To speak up in the big circle and announce it is not so well-seen. Because not everone is interested in listening to the announcement.
I did two workshops in the rainbow gathering. About tantra and tantra massage. It was great. Around 40 people came to each workshop, but I was not nervous infront to speak of them as they are my brothers and sisters. One older guy even helped me to get the tipi, as someone else wanted to use it. Also some people came up to me and told me that they liked it. One woman even kissed my hand to show me her gratefuleness and appreciation.
Our little camp
We spent also a lot of time in our little camp. That means in the forest, were our tents were. We had an own little fire there and cooked our own food. Especially pancakes or tea. And we had a roof, so we could sit there when it was raining. In the forest there were many such little camps. One of the guys had a car, so one day we drove to some hot springs nearby. It was nice to lay in the hot water after many cold days in the mountains. When the sun was shining, it was quite warm, but as soon as the sun went down, it got much colder.
People
On a rainbow gathering it is easy to meet wonderful people. You can meet them everywhere, especially in the workshops it is posible to get to know them better. I met many beautiful people and had many interesting conversations. One I want to share here because I am proud of it. I talked with one woman about her dog and that the dog is horny and she can not leave her for a longer time alone in the camper. So I convinced her to write a sign and search for a male dog.
I want to finish this article with you. If you have been in the pyrenees too, if this article inspired you to go on a rainbow too, or if you have any questions – please leave a comment! And if you are researching now about the rainbow gathering in youtube, be careful, not every video shows the beautiful spirit of the rainbow.
New: One principle of the Rainbow Gathering is to leave the gathering site better than you found it. Here is a photo of the Rainbow Meadow that was taken about 2 years after the Gathering.
The Rainbow Gathering is known for the special rainbow songs that are sung around the campfire and before the food circle. I would like to add three of my favorite Rainbow songs here so you can get a little taste.
I will be very happy if you share your opinion on this article or your own experience in the comments!
And of course it is very interesting if you share what touched you, what resonates in you or what is alive in you while you read this lines.
I think we were sitting there for around 4-5 hours. At some point, I was just breathing deeply, breathing out making sound and felt a tingling in my head. It was just beautiful.
To round up the morning we did a little bit of exercises, mostly in pairs.
Especially I liked the drawing with the flashlight (see above in the center) that made it very clear. Also I liked the triade in the morning. Three people came together and shared about everything what is in their mind and body right now or which important things came up. The verbal taboos (above on the right) made me aware much more of the wording that I use. Especially the word “but” I used far too often.
