I had been looking forward to the Clown trough mask workshop for a long time. I had only little idea what exactly to expect.
The day before the workshop I traveled to Hamburg by train.
I shared an apartment with another workshop participant that was given to us. The owners were on vacation.
The first day of the workshop started slowly. We got to know each other and became familiar with the location. In addition to the organizer, Verena Lohner, two young women, Rashmi and Dani, also assisted.
I thought it was really special and great that right at the beginning of the workshop we were asked not to hold our hands in front of our mouths when yawning. Instead, we were supposed to give ourselves over to yawning. I took that to heart and yawned with my whole body.
In this video here Verena gives an interview about the course:
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On the first day of the workshop, we even inadvertently finished an hour earlier.
I had already noticed before the course that it could sometimes go on until late at night.
On the second day, we started the practical work. We made masks. At the end of the workshop, each participant had finished and painted six masks.
Getting there was a very intuitive process with a lot of visualization.
In addition, this process was very comprehensive and included many steps. I won’t reveal what we did in each step here. Future participants should be able to benefit from the surprise effect of the workshop process.
Before each morning and afternoon session, we played a game. For me, the games were the highlights of the workshop.
A name game to get to know each other was followed by a special highlight. We played a game in a circle that involved the sequence of gestures. What was done in each round was freely selectable.
One person started with something. For example, a wink with a slight cough to another person. This person then passed the impulse on to the next person. In the first round, everyone raised their hand. When they received the impulse, they put their hand down. This made it clear which person had not yet been involved. My favorite gesture in the game was the farting Buddha. With your hands you formed a small roof over your head. By bending both knees to the side, you squatted slightly. To do this, you made a farting noise with your mouth. The game became really fun and hectic when several gestures were passed on at the same time. The aim of the game is to let as many gestures as possible run around in a circle at the same time. The name: “Game of Many Things” is appropriate. The first days of the workshop were manageable. The workshop ran from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. In a creative process, we developed the basis for our masks. Due to the extensive basic work, the first days were structured in a similar way. After a few days, another step was added to the production of the masks.
This meant that the days also got longer.
My longest day lasted until about one o’clock in the morning.
Two of the participants ended the workshop early. An appreciative group bond developed among the other participants.
Twice most of our group went out to eat together in a restaurant. And twice we prepared something in the small kitchen in Wiese eG, which we then ate in the back yard.
We also went to an improvisational theater show by Steife Brise together. Steife Brise organizes the Clown through mask workshop. They also offer improvisational theater shows and courses.
As the course progressed, the masks were gradually completed. A turn was developed for each mask. So it was actually a two to three minute performance as a clown.
However, the longest turn we had lasted over 9 minutes.
During my first turn I wanted to spill water. Because I thought I couldn’t wet the floor, I pantomimed water. Much to my surprise, Verena wanted me to use real water.
One lesson was that pantomime is synonymous with lying.
At first I was very reluctant to wet the floor. But after the instruction I did it. And that was great fun. Being a child again and getting everything wet without inhibitions. The assistants came straight away with towels to dry it off again.
Three days before the end we had finished all the masks. The last turns were also done.
From then on the workshop relaxed again.
In the meantime, some participants were busy for several hours before and after the workshop.
With a ritual, the five of us participants were born as clowns. We had finally made it. Now we were real clowns.
We celebrated with cake and snacks, of course.
Now we were ready for our birthday party.
Each of the participants performed at least one routine.
In the video you can see my routine at the birthday party.
The audience were former clown course graduates. Relatives and friends could also be invited.
We ate and drank together. Music and a fun game in a circle were also not to be missed.
The next day marked the end of the clown through mask workshop.
You can read more about me under “About me”.
I would be delighted if you shared your thoughts on this article or your own experiences in the comments!
I would also be delighted if you shared what moves you, what resonates with you or what comes alive in you when you read these lines.
After a long travel I arrived at Pettenasco train station. My phone was not working and so I was lucky that a french guy who attended the radical honesty retreat was also there an called the facilitators, so that we got picked up.
At the “house Felicina” were already a bunch of people waiting. Because I felt tired after the long journey, I took a shower and a rest first.
The start of the workshop
Around 5pm on April 22nd 2023 the radical honesty 8 day intensive started. Marvin and J. were assisted by Gabriela. To begin smoothly we started with 2 name rounds.
The first partner exercise I did with a tall guy with curly hairs. It was about sharing the expectations for this workshop. The only thing I remember is, that it turned out in a big yawning session.
The first day we didn´t have a evening program. On the following evenings we shared our live stories. Only I did mine in the morning because I picked the last evening of the workshop and I wanted people to know my life beforehand.
The structure of the most days looked mainly like this:
In the morning we did movement exercises, pleasure yoga and meditations followed by the breakfast. After that we started with a sharing circle and debriefed the life stories from the evening before. To round up the morning we did a little bit of exercises, mostly in pairs.
Then we went up to the Centro d´Ompio for lunch and watched male peacocks to display themselves infront of the females and show us their beautiful feathering.
After lunch we had some time for ourselves. We were free to decide how we want to spend it. Eighter alone or with someone else or just sleeping.
Nearby was the beautiful lake Orta and also two waterfalls. I visited all 3 during our stay. The combination of a workshop and a nice holiday location was really nice.
The radical honesty workshop restarted at 4:30 pm. The start was different from day to day. Some days we danced to a song and one person did some dance move and all other people followed. The person demonstrating the move changed after around 15-30 seconds. This “game” was in one way really cool. But on the other hand I felt hesitancy because some part of my mind said that the dance move that I demonstrate must be somehow cool and good.
Theory took turn with partner exercises or sharings after that. The theory was beautifully put into graphics by Gabriela.
Some of the exercises and theory I really liked, some I did not. Really good was the awareness continuum. Especially I liked the drawing with the flashlight (see above in the center) that made it very clear. Also I liked the triade in the morning. Three people came together and shared about everything what is in their mind and body right now or which important things came up. The verbal taboos (above on the right) made me aware much more of the wording that I use. Especially the word “but” I used far too often.
What I did not like were the sharing about money. Especially the term “what is your net worth” is crazy in my eyes. How can some diry paper with numbers on it ever describe your worth? The exercise was to share what you earn, the amount of savings and investments etc. and also the worth of physical things, like cars, houses etc. Some people also expect an inheritance. And all togehter is “your net worth”.
I can not say it it is true, but I sensed some bullshit in this exercise. People said: money is not important for them but on the same time the desire money for security.
Other exercises were quite interesting as well, like the “Sometimes I pretend…., while in reality I am….”. Or the “I notice” (something visible with the eyes) and “I imagine” (something brought up by your mind) exercise. Also we did the “should” and “no” exercise where one partner always came up with somehing he or she should do and the other one always responded with “NO”. We made this also with external people, like he or she should (parents, partner, friends).
For dinner we went again up to the Centro, we were able to catch the last sunlight on the terrace while we ate.
Life Storys
The life story part of the radical honesty retreat after dinner was very interesting. It was very emotional and a little bit like cinema to hear from everyone the experiences that he or she made. In the end of the lifestory the storyteller got asked what was the best and what was the worst time in his or her life. My mind was busy while I was listening to the life stories. It always said that I have to show emotions in front when it is my turn. Also my mind was comparing the stories from the others with my own stories.
The days of the radical honesty 8 day intensive were all quite emotional. The concept that it is necessary to express the emotions only verbally and not with actions was new for me. But it made sense somehow. I felt much more emotions when I was not allowed to escape them with actions like in other workshops. To handle the upcoming emotions I took times for me alone. During food or also in the lunchbreak.
Naked work
A very special part of the radical honesty workshop was the naked work. At the 4th day of the workshop after lunch it was naked time. After the explanation how it will work, all participants and also the trainers took their clothes of at the same time. One by one we stood infront of the group and answered questions. Before the participants started, the trainers went infront of everybody and talked about their body and their sexual life. So no participant had to go first what made it more relaxed.
Still it was quite a challenge to stand naked infront of the group. Sitting naked with everybody also naked was not that tough for me. But as soon I was standing there infront of everybody with no clothes that felt unprotected. Clothes are not really an armor. But they prevent others from seeing your body, what most people think of is who they really are, as it really is.
The questions we had to answer were: What do you like about your body and what do you not like? When did you first find out that you are a sexual being? When did you first have sex? How many sexual partners did you have? And then at last if you want to tell something else.
In the evening we did a “No talent – talent show” where everyone had the chance to perform something, even he or she is not very good at it or doesn´t even have talent.
The night after turned out in a no pants allowed dancing party. The underwear was still allowed, it was no orgy.
My own experience of the radical honesty 8 day intensive retreat
For me personally the most special day was the day of my life story. I was triggered by some people in the morning sharing circle and I started crying. Even though it is a genral believe that crying is a sad thing, for me it was more a relief. My mind was always pushing that I have to show emotions to be taken seriously. This was mostly because of something that happened to me before in the sharing circle. Someone cried and the coaches said “take your time” I said something and did not cry. I can not exactly remember what the trainers said. For me it sounded like “hurry up, what is your point”.
It felt really wonderful to just cry. My thinking mind was cut of. I just felt my body. And I felt a lot. There was a tingling very strong in my head and in my hands, but also in the rest of my body. I could not even walk, somebody had to support me on the way to the toilet. I cried for around an hour. The other were continuing with the the debriefing of the life storys from the day before.
And then it was my time for my lifestory. In the morning I was very nervous. I could not sleep the night before. My mind was always busy with thoughts, comparisons and pressure to be good. But in the moment when I started my life story I just didn´t care. I also said the I think I don´t have to show emotions in the life story, I did enough already.
The Rainbow gathering is the most beautiful thing on this planet according to my experiences so far in this lifetime. I get emotional when I think of it. It is home. It is family. Everyone there is called brother or sister. It ispired me also for my tshirts in the category Rainbow love.
Here you can learn more about the rainbow gathering and how it works.
On the way to the rainbow
It started all when a friend from Netherlands called me in July 2021 and asked me if he can visit me. I said no sorry, I will have an appointment on this certain date. He said ok, and some other thing, I will go to a rainbow gathering in two weeks. Without thinking even a second, I said: Ok, I will come.
I heared about rainbow gatherings before. It sounded always so special that I was thinking, this is only for special people, not for me. The exact location is secret until it starts. And it is mostly far up from civilisation somewher in the nature. And what happens there is almost to good to be true. Everyone is welcome, doesnt matter which age, color or religion. That is why it is called rainbow. People there are very different and there is no discrimination. Doctors, Architects, beggars, disabled people (I saw one, but it is not easy for them to reach there), rich people, poor people, old people or babies.
My rainbow experience
But now more about my experience. I had no backpack, no tent for camping, no equipment, nothing. The only thing I had was a very big tent and also a big sleeping bag. I was thinking if I should go with a big suitcase and bring the tent extra. For this few days of the gathering it is maybe an option. Then it came to my mind, no, this is ridiculous. So I started my computer and bought everything that I need for camping in nature in the internet. First I had to find out what I all need for camping of course.
It was last minute. The things arrived just a few days before we started. I never actually camped in nature. I slept in a tent 2 times before in our garden. As I have sleeping problems, I can’t even sleep good in a tent. But when the call of the rainbow came to me, there was no question asked.
My journey to the rainbow gathering
I booked a flixbus from Karlsruhe to Carcasonne in south France. My friend was already there, he was travelling in France. My bus was overnight and we met there early in the morning. After meeting in his AirBnB, we started hichhiking towards the pyrenees. We bought some bread, oil and fruits in Carcasonne, this was our breakfast. It was still a few hundred kilometers to go. I was thinking that hopefully we arrive there before it gets dark. Also we found out that it can be quite cold as far we got higher up, as we saw a flea market on the way, we bought two pullovers.
We jumped and danced on the street. We were like on drugs because we were on the way to the rainbow gathering. The hichhiking went pretty fast. Until we reached the pyrenees we were never waiting long to get picked up. The first stop where we had to wait longer was already in a mountain village up in the pyrenees. Almost no cars crossed there and if there were cars, they did not stop for us.
But we were lucky. After a while a car stoped. And guess what they told us where they will go. To the rainbow gathering 🙂
Coming home to the rainbow
It was like crazy. I was nervous how it will be there and my adrenaline level was very high. And every story they told us in the car about the rainbow gathering pushed it higher. Wow, I have a big smile on my face now when I think of this situation. It took maybe half an hour more on small roads up the pyrenees to the last mountain village. From there we took a road into the forest and drove on this rough road for 30 minutes more. Then finally we arrived. I did not believe my eyes when I saw 100’s of cars parked along the road. It was like crazy. We had difficulties to find a spot for our car, because everywher was full of cars.
We found a spot and started to hike. This was not the end. We had to hike 30 minutes up the mountain to reach to the gathering. Actually the gathering was everywhere. Next to the street were also parked campers where people gathered and had some food and drinks. On the beginning of the very rough road up the mountain was the welcome center. Every rainbow gathering has a welcome center. It is to welcome all new people and tell them about how the gathering works in case they don’t know. The welcome center was in a little house for hikers to sleep over when they hike in the pyrenees. Close to the welcome center was a rainbow flag with the words “rainbow pais”. What means rainbow country in spanish.
Rough road
After hugging many people who welcomed us warm with the words “welcome home”, we continued our way up the hill. A small car tried to drive up the very rough road, I have no idea why, but it came only around 100 meters. Then many people on the way had to come to push this car back down. The road was really rough. Only one 4 wheel drive Pickup made it up everyday to bring food. Even when the police tried to come up with a 4 wheel drive later in the event, they did not make it. I have actually no idea what they wanted with a car on the rainbow gathering.
We hiked and hiked. Some people who left the gathering already came down the way. A rainbow gathering is absolutely free. Normally it takes one month, but everyone can come and leave whenever they want. Many people hugged us and welcomed us home. It did not feel to arrive on a gathering but to come back home.
The main meadow of the rainbow gathering and the holy fire
After a long hike the dark forest got brighter and we reached to the main meadow of the rainbow gathering. There was also the holy fire. It was almost not real. There were 100’s of people. Dancing, singing, playing, cooking, drinking, talking… Everybody did what he or she wanted. Naked, with clothes or with a costume. Nobody cared about the outer appearance. And we arrived there before food what does not mean on lunchtime. Every rainbow gathering has a temporary kitchen. And food is ready whenever its ready, just on rainbow time. It can be 5 pm (even nobody had a watch) or it can be after midnight (what also happened once)
This is how it looked like. In the middle of the picture behind the circle, you can see where the rough road goes into the forest. There is also a white and brown tent, which was the medecine tent. Everyone could go there with any disease or wound. People with medicine background were there to help.
In the center of the image is the food circle. Evertime when the kitchen made some food with the help of many volunteers, we gathered. In a rainbow gathering it is like that: around 2-3 hours before the food is ready, the kitchen people are shouting loud: “food circle”. This is repeated by every person that hears it. So that everyone on that big area knows it. 1-2 hours before food is another call “food circle”. Half an hour before the food is ready comes the call: “food circle now”. If you are hungry, you know, soon you have to start to move to the main fire.
Settle down on the rainbow gathering
My friend and I went into the forest to search for a nice spot for our tent. We found one next to some people from Lithuania. It was like like a village inside the forest. Everywhere tents, little fire places, hammocks, paths and other things. Outside the forest was also a kids area with a seperate kids kitchen. And there were many beautiful hearted people.
Shit pit
Another big topic in the middle of nature up in the pyrenees is where so many people can shit and pee. Toilets on the rainbow gathering are called shit pits. This are several long holes in the ground. They are on several places far from the tents and also far from the main area. Signs on the trees show the way. You put one foot left and one foot right, put your naked ass down and just let go. When a shitpit is full, some volunteers go and dig a new one. Normally you should not use toilet paper. I tried it with leaves several times. But to use toilet paper and burn it after usage is also ok.
Where I belong
In the rainbow gathering I had the first time the feeling that I really belong. That this is how the world could be. Just sisters and brothers, one big family (the rainbow people call themselves “rainbow family”). This gathering is grounded on anarchy, everyone is responsible for everything, but also everyone can enjoy everything. There is no leader. The rainbow family of a certain county where it takes place is responsible to organize that it can take place. But never one person makes a decision. Everything will be decided in consent.
I realized that very clearly on my first evening at the rainbow gathering. During food circle many differerent activities are called out. Amongst other things they called out that the vision council will meet in one of the tipis. The oldes members of the family came together to decide where the next big European Gathering will happen. And everyone was able to join this vision circle. I love this fact as I am very curious.
So I joined the vision circle. People from different countries argued why the next European rainbow gathering should be in their country. The olders told their opinion. We sat in a circle and everyone had the chance to speak. Me too. But I kept quiet because I have no opinion about the location of the next European rainbow gathering. I was happy that I had just arrived at this one here in the pyrenees.
Rules
Actually the rainbow gathering has no fixed rules. There are guidlines that should be followed. And as everyone is responsible, people will speak to you if they see that you don’t follow the guidlines. But you will not get a penalty for doing something not the rainbow way. Only for one thing. Using physical or psychological violence against other people. Then you will be asked to leave the gathering.
Very important is the mandate to not use your mobile phone in public. If you do so, there will be definetly a brother or a sister confronting you. Alcohol and drugs are also a thing that is not wanted. I did not use them. But I heard that some people do so in private.
We are circling
One of the things that I like most about the rainbow gathering is the rite that before eating we make a circle around the main fire. We hold hands and sing rainbow songs for around 30 minutes -1 hour. Rainbow songs are beautiful. And they are like mantras. That everyone can keep the text in mind, it is often repeating.
And in this circle kisses or other things go around. Means that someone starts to kiss his neigbour on the cheek or on the hand and he or she continues the kiss to the next one and so on. Sometimes people are creative and start something else than kissing. I experienced one time that one person picked up a little branch with her toes. She continued it to her neigbour. He took the branch with his toes and continued it. In this way the little branch went all around the circle.
Sometimes if the space is too small and there are too many people, there will be a second circle. Or even 3 like on this picture. This picture is not from the pyrenees, I just want to show you how it looks if there are too many people for one circle.
Workshops
What I also like very much are the workshops. Everone is able to offer a workshop about everything. And it can happen that many people want to join the workshop of nobody is interested. Here I list some of the workshops I remember: Hypnosis, Massage, Contact Improvisation, Voice Training, Polyamory, Eye Gazing, Play Fight, Chakra Healing, Yoga… Usually during the food circle people will announce their workshops. It is also absolutely free how people announce their workshop. Most common is that people write it on a carton board and show it to everyone or go around and announce it verbaly. To speak up in the big circle and announce it is not so well-seen. Because not everone is interested in listening to the announcement.
I did two workshops in the rainbow gathering. About tantra and tantra massage. It was great. Around 40 people came to each workshop, but I was not nervous infront to speak of them as they are my brothers and sisters. One older guy even helped me to get the tipi, as someone else wanted to use it. Also some people came up to me and told me that they liked it. One woman even kissed my hand to show me her gratefuleness and appreciation.
Our little camp
We spent also a lot of time in our little camp. That means in the forest, were our tents were. We had an own little fire there and cooked our own food. Especially pancakes or tea. And we had a roof, so we could sit there when it was raining. In the forest there were many such little camps. One of the guys had a car, so one day we drove to some hot springs nearby. It was nice to lay in the hot water after many cold days in the mountains. When the sun was shining, it was quite warm, but as soon as the sun went down, it got much colder.
People
On a rainbow gathering it is easy to meet wonderful people. You can meet them everywhere, especially in the workshops it is posible to get to know them better. I met many beautiful people and had many interesting conversations. One I want to share here because I am proud of it. I talked with one woman about her dog and that the dog is horny and she can not leave her for a longer time alone in the camper. So I convinced her to write a sign and search for a male dog.
I want to finish this article with you. If you have been in the pyrenees too, if this article inspired you to go on a rainbow too, or if you have any questions – please leave a comment! And if you are researching now about the rainbow gathering in youtube, be careful, not every video shows the beautiful spirit of the rainbow.
New: One principle of the Rainbow Gathering is to leave the gathering site better than you found it. Here is a photo of the Rainbow Meadow that was taken about 2 years after the Gathering.
The Rainbow Gathering is known for the special rainbow songs that are sung around the campfire and before the food circle. I would like to add three of my favorite Rainbow songs here so you can get a little taste.
I will be very happy if you share your opinion on this article or your own experience in the comments!
And of course it is very interesting if you share what touched you, what resonates in you or what is alive in you while you read this lines.
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I will be very happy if you share your opinion on this article or your own experience in the comments!
And of course it is very interesting if you share what touched you, what resonates in you or what is alive in you while you read this lines.
What do free hugs, courage and rembering who you are have in common? Can you remember who you are by hugging people? Hui, thats easy. Or not?
In September 2019 I visited Dani from Couchsurfing in Stuttgart. The main reason why I came to Stuttgart was to visit the Concert of the Band Berge in the evening.
During the day Dani and me did many interesting things in the city. We did Free Hugs and also joined a walk of Fridays for Future. It was really nice and we had great experiences. During the day we felt the Free Hugs mood. (Even I didn´t take drugs, I would say, it is like on drugs)
I just decided spontaniously: Tonight I will take my Free Hugs sign to the concert. Actually, Berge sings also in the song below: “Where are the dreamers and the wild ones and the free hugs givers? You are too quiet to me in this stormy times”
Before the Concert
In the afternoon we went to Dani´s flat and took a shower. After that we cooked something together. More and more the fear grow up in me. I have already said that I will go with the sign, so soon I should do it. The Free Hugs mood was fading away. I didn´t want to do it anymore.
It is weird that we are so much afraid of doing good things that actually make people happy. How should we save the planet if we are afraid of doing the good things. In my opinion and I don´t know if I am correct, we are not so afraid the bad things. The emotion of anger helps us. Courage is not an emotion. And we need courage to face our fear to do good things infront of many people.
I was lucky that Dani was there. He remembered me who I am. That I am good to go. That the courage is actually there within me. Even if I did not see it in the moment. It is always there, hidden by something called comfort zone. What a pity. Dani had to encourage me more than one time. I responed always with reasons why I am not able to do it.
In the end he was successful. I am very grateful for that. I did it. And it was one of the most beautiful decisions in my life.
The concert
I guess there were around 1000 people. I arrived half an hour before the concert started and I hold my sign high in the air. And wonder what. People came to me and hugged me. I remember, one girl came to me and told me that some meters away is her friend who needs a hug and I went there and hugged her. Isn´t that cool? I feel like the hugging doctor now when I write this. Not only that nothing bad happens, also people come to me and call me to go somewhere to give hugs to heal people from maybe some bad mood.
During the concert I did not hold up my sign as I did not want to block the view for the people behind me. When Berge was singing about free hugs givers, I raised it up for a few moments.
What then happend was so nice. A woman who was at the concert with her partner standing close to me, came up to me. She put the arm around my shoulder and hold up the sign togeher with me for the rest of the song. (My song – see below)
At the latest no I was on the free hugs drugs again. When the concert was over, I waited for Marianne (the singer) and gave her a hug. When I went out, people from left and right told me how great and brave my move with the free hugs sign was.
On the way back I had several conversations with people from the concert. Maybe a free hugs sign is also a kind of icebreaker. I remember in the tram one woman I talked to, said to her friend, “You see, there are still good man out there”
Why is it so easy to be good?
Somehow I felt proud and I was thinking: “why is it so easy to be a good human out there?” And on the same time I am thinking: “Why do I struggle to have courage to do good?” What is courage? A muscle? Something that I have in some situations and sometimes not? Something that is only made up by my mind? I guess courage is just feeling the fear and do it anyway.
I will be very happy if you share your opinion on this article or your own experience in the comments!
And of course it is very interesting if you share what touched you, what resonates in you or what is alive in you while you read this lines.